Animal Apartment
by AshakiranTheTenthBeast
Summary: There's something weird about the communal apartment. Ban caught it first and now its spiraling out of control. Who's the culprit behind all of this? And what can be done to reverse the effects before it becomes permanent?
1. Prologue: The Fishy Communal Apartment

Prologue

The Fishy Communal Apartment

"Wow Ban-chan, we can sleep in an apartment again! And its great!" Ginji Amano grinned broadly, his yellow hair seemed to glow with inner electricity from his happiness.

Ban Mido shrugged, lighting a new cigarette. "Its just the cheapest this block offers. If we don't get another job to pay rent, then its gone just like our other apartments."

"Let's check it out!" Ginji rushed forward, tramping over the dead brown grass and heading toward the three-story red-bricked building.

Ban followed at a slower pace. Once he entered the building, a chill raced right up his spine. He whirled around, his eyes flicking at the ceiling and from the walls, but there was nothing. Ginji didn't seem to have felt anything, he was already running around, looking in doors and through windows, calling out how wonderful everything seemed.

Ban narrowed his eyes. _That was weird. I'm not much for intuition, but I didn't like that just now._

Ban inspected the area around him again. There was a water stain on the ceiling, it had rained hard just a few days ago. The tiles were a little grimy, but it wasn't like this was a high class place, so that was normal. The wallpaper was peeling and needed replacing, the apartment wasn't cheap for nothing. Everything was normal.

"Shido! Kazu-chan! And Himiko too!"

At Ginji's energetic shouting, Ban hurried forward, he hoped Ginji had called those names just to call them and not because…

Ban came to a stop and sighed heavily. "Oh great! What is this?"

Shido Fuyuki was standing outside of an apartment door, a key in hand and a crowd of beasts with him. Kazuki Fuuchouin had several bags at his feet, also with a key and it was the same with Himiko.

"We're moving in," the three said together. "What are you doing?"

"We've moved here too!" Ginji cheered. "Wow, we're all neighbors! I can only wonder who's here too."

"Oh my, Ginji-kun? And Mido-kun? What a wonderful surprise." At the soft coo, Ginji and Ban turned around, Ban rolled his eyes while Ginji went pale. Akabane Kuroudo was slithering his way up the hall, his regular sneaky smile on his face, two bags in his hands. "We should have a housewarming party, shouldn't we? Wouldn't that be fun Ginji-kun? Want to come to my place for a little get-together?"

"Shut your face Dr. Jackal," Ban snapped at him as Ginji shrunk down into his chibi form and hid behind Ban's ankles. "Jesus, you're like a banshee you know that? When you show up someone dies."

Akabane puffed from his nose but set down his bags outside of a door and took out a key from his pocket. "We can't be as perfect as the Great Ban Mido. Excuse me for offending your delicate sensibilities."

"You little," Ban growled but the man slipped inside of his apartment and closed the door. Everyone else had gone inside too. "Come on Ginji!" He picked up the chibi-man underneath his arm, took out his key and entered their shared apartment. _Dammit, the property value of this place has just gone way, way down._


	2. The Great Ban Mido

Disclaimer: I do not own GetBackers

The Great Ban Mido

I woke up, blinking away the blurriness and saw Ginji leaning over me, a large smile on his face, his brown eyes wide. I opened my mouth to ask him what the hell he was doing when I realized the kid had blown up twice his size, taller and heavier, in fact, it was like he had turned into a giant. His hand the size of a dinner plate reached for me and clasped around my neck then lifted me up like I weighed nothing. I kicked and twisted but he didn't let me go and started to walk away with me, still holding me by my neck and he was shouting at the top of his lungs. What he said chilled me to my core.

"Look guys, look what I found in Ban-chan's bed! A snake, there was a snake in Ban-chan's bed!"

_A snake? In my bed? But wait a minute!_

I managed to tilt my head down to see my body over Ginji's grip around my neck and didn't see my boxers, my legs, my hands or even my regular pale skin. Instead I saw a long thick limbless tubular body covered in scales. _Hell no! This cannot be happening!_

"Look Himiko!" Ginji swung me around by my neck to face Himiko. The girl was like three times her normal size, she was still the same in comparison to Ginji but I had gotten so small that everyone else looked like they had turned into giants. "I found _this_ in Ban-chan's bed!"

"Ew, gross!" Himiko recoiled, her nose turned up. "I always knew that Mido was a freak. Where is he anyway?"

Ginji shrugged, the movement jolted me up and down. "I dunno. The snake was underneath the covers. Do you think it's a boy or a girl snake?" Ginji grasped the bottom of me and flipped me upside down, my world twirled. _Lemme go! Ginji, its me, Ban! Stop flinging me around and listening to me!_

I opened my mouth and tried to talk but only loud hissing came out.

"Whoa, look at that Ginji." Shido was coming out of his room and he started to poke me. "You said he was in Mido's room?"

_Get off me! Wait, Shido, you can talk to animals, listen to me! I AM Ban!_

Shido frowned and said, "His coloring is odd. He looks a lot like a green anaconda, the pattern is right but he's brown instead of green and his eyes are blue." He looked at me closely.

I nodded quickly, hissing, _Its me! I'm Ban Mido! I woke up as a snake somehow!_

"A snake in Mido-kun's bed?" Akabane's face joined the troupe gathered around me. "If he needed some company I would have gladly joined him."

"There's something fishy about that snake," said Shido, motioning to Ginji to give me to him.

Ginji clutched me back to his chest, his heartbeat thudded against my body and I could feel the electricity running through him, I felt like he was going to fry me. "No way Shido! Finder's keepers! Get your own snake!"

I struggled, writhing my cylindrical body back and forth. _No, no, no! Ginji its ME! Shido, help me out already!_

A sly look came over Shido's face and his dark gray eyes lightened with amusement. He knew, he could talk to animals, hell, I bet it was him who did this to me in the first place!

I hissed warningly at him, _If you don't help me I'll wrap around your skull and constrict it! I'll crush your face inwards and swallow it whole! Don't think I won't!_

Shido's brow winged up bastardly but he turned to Himiko, saying, "Your Devolution scent, can it be used to turn time backwards?"

Himiko crossed her arms. "Well yes, that's the whole point of it but I use it on humans, not snakes. What are you talking about anyway? What does my perfume have to do with anything?"

"Yeah, what are you up to Shido?" Ginji began to play with me, pulling my body back and forth like an accordion, ignoring my loud hissing protests. _Stop it that hurts! SHIDO!_ "This is a snake, I want to keep him."

Shido smirked but finally said, "That snake is actually Ban Mido. Somehow over the night he turned _into_ a snake. I think using Himiko's Devolution scent will turn back the time and he'll change back into a man."

"Oh my," Akabane creepily smiled as the others gasped and he ran his creepy fingers down the length of my spine. "And there are _so_ many things I could enjoy with Mido-kun in this form."

I snapped for his face, causing him to jump back in alarm. _Just try it you psycho doctor and see what happens to you!_

Himiko looked concerned but lifted out the perfume from her belt. "Alright, its worth a try at least. Put him down Ginji and stand back. Everyone else hold your nose."

Ginji gasped and dropped me unceremoniously on the floor and darted away, he knew all about getting turned into a monkey because of that scent.

_Ow!_ I stretched out on the floor then turned to face my Himiko as she knelt down and uncorked the perfume. The glittery perfume drifted out and went into my nose. _Ah…smells nice….wheeee…._

My eyes closed for a second and I heard shouts and laughter. When I opened my eyes, everyone was normal sized again. I looked down and I was my normal white-skinned, two-legged human being again.

"Aw…" Ginji pouted. "Turn back into a snake Ban-chan! I didn't get to play games with you yet!"

"Put some clothes on!" Himiko and Shido covered their faces.

Akabane was all too busy staring at a certain place, I didn't bother to be freaked out and ran back to my room to get dressed.

* * *

><p>AN:

Ban is a Green Anaconda (Eunectes murinus) because they have the heaviest grip (constrictor) It has been found that the green anaconda (_Eunectes murinus_) has a constriction strength of 6 kg/cm2, which effectively means a total strength of 4000 kg. source: Wikipedia, constriction


	3. The Amazing Dr Jackal

The Amazing Dr. Jackal

"So why do you think Ban turned into a snake?" Kazuki turned to me with wide eyes, he had come out and heard the commotion.

I twittered. "Well maybe his inner snake came out during his sleep. Surely its not the first time he's changed Ginji-kun."

Ginji shook his head, looking confused. "Ban-chan's not a shapeshifter like Shido, he's never turned into an animal before."

"I'm not a shapeshifter either Ginji, I take on properties of animals, not turn into animals themselves. Oh, he's back." Shido waved over Ban who was coming out of his apartment, now he was dressed. _Ah what a pity. I should have had my camera on me._ "Yo, Ban, you ever turned into a snake before?"

"Never," he said, shivering as he came back to our circle. "If it wasn't for Himiko, I would have stayed a snake forever, I don't have a clue why or how it happened or how to change myself back. It must have been some freak accident."

"Perhaps." My pager went off, it was Ms. Hevn. "Well, I must go, Ms. Hevn must have a job for me. Ta-ta." I waved then walked away but as I walked the walls going higher and higher, the floor was coming closer and my clothes were getting too big until I was in darkness because my clothes had piled on top of my head and swallowed my body.

I heard shrieks and laughter then, "Akabane! Are you okay?!"

_What happened? _I kicked and struggled to get my clothes off me but I couldn't hear myself talking, I just heard loud yelping sounds. My body went cold. _No way…_

There were hands that grasped me and shook me then pulled me up off the floor and I was looking into Ban's bright blue eyes. He shook me again and my head twirled. He said, his voice was so loud, "Look! Look at Akabane! Himiko, quick, get out your Devolution scent!"

_What happened?_ I tried to get down and felt my legs and arms pedaling the air, I couldn't get Ban off me and I kicked, getting him in the chest with both feet. He dropped me with a grunt of pain and I hit the floor, lost my breath then stood up but I fell over then fell over again when I tried to stand up. Shido was there, saying, "You have four legs now Akabane, you can't stand upright. Four legs."

_What? Four legs? _I looked down at myself and he was right, there were four legs that ended in paws underneath me. I was covered in black fur, I saw a muzzle between my eyes and I could feel my ears twitching at the top of my head and a tail coming from my behind. _Oh no…_

"Aw look at the puppy!" Suddenly Ginji grabbed me and squeezed my face together then tousled my head. "He's so cute!"

_GRRR! I'm not a toy!_ I snapped for his hand, he jumped back. "Yikes!"

"That's not a puppy Ginji," Kazuki bent down, peering into my face. "He looks like a wolf or something."

"He's not a wolf," said Himiko, my hackles raised as they talked over my head like I couldn't hear them. "He's a coyote."

Shido sighed heavily. "All of you are wrong. His coloring isn't right, but he's a jackal. Wouldn't you have guessed that yourself, seeing as he _is_ Dr. Jackal."

"Okay, wait up." Ban put his hand on my head, scratching behind my ears and I had to admit that felt good, my tail gave a wag. "So I turned into a snake and Caca-bane has just turned into a jackal. Are you saying we're _all_ going to turn into animals?"

"Maybe he drank bad water," suggested Ginji. "And you did too. Let's just all start drinking bottled water now."

"I don't think that's it, since when can bad water turn people into animals?" Kazuki examined me closely. "Maybe Ban was cursed and when he touched Akabane he passed it to Akabane. Maybe its some sort of magical disease."

Himiko scratched her arms. "I'm a witch you know, I would have felt the magic on Ban if he had been cursed, he would have felt it too."

"I felt something when I walked in here," he spoke up, massaging my forehead, I felt sleepy. _His touch is magical._ "Like a chill or something. Maybe it's the apartment itself that's cursed."

_Okay, enough with talking about a curse, turn me back into a human!_ I barked sharply.

Shido told them what I had said, seeing as he could talk to animals, he knew what I was saying.

Himiko sighed and broke out her perfume bottle. "Alright, all of you back up. Ready Akabane?"

_Yes I am! _

Himiko knelt down as everyone backed up, uncorked her perfume bottle and I took in a deep sniff. She stood back and corked it. I waited for the floor to shrink, for me to become tall again, but nothing was happening.

"Was that the right perfume Himiko?" asked Ban.

"Of course it was!" She snapped at him. "I'm not stupid, I know which perfume is which! It just seems like while it worked on you, its not working on Akabane. He must need something different to break his curse."

_Something different?_ I yelped. _What something different?_

"Let's brainstorm," suggested Shido. "If turning back time on Ban did work but not for Akabane, what will work on Akabane?"

"What if its something opposite," wondered Himiko. "Turning back time can be considered doing the opposite of the future. So, if its not the opposite of time, it's the opposite of something else."

I stared back and forth, hoping. _Yes, keep going! Think!_

"Well," Ban tapped his chin. "Let's think of the things Akabane likes to do. He likes to eat, but the opposite of eating is to starve. So let's starve him for a few days, then see if he changes back."

I didn't like that idea, wrinkling my nose.

"Hmm, what about a bath?" Ginji perked up. "He smells like death and blood, so let's give him a bath! The opposite of dirty is clean, right?"

My ears lowered. _I don't like getting wet…_

"No," Kazuki's eyes went wide. "It's the opposite of _killing_. I bet Akabane has to do a good deed!"

"Huh?" The others stared at him.

I tilted my head to the side. _A good deed?_

"Akabane likes to kill and cause pain and terror," explained Kazuki. "And now he's been turned into his namesake, a jackal. That means to become human again, he has to turn away from that. He has to do something good and he'll become his normal self. How's that?"

"Hmm, sounds reasonable." Shido nodded.

"Just might work." Ban shrugged a shoulder.

"Let's try it!" Ginji cheered.

"So," Himiko looked at me. "What type of good deed can you do Akabane?"

_Aah…._I drew a blank.

"Maybe…" Kazuki thought, "maybe help an old lady across the street? That's what everyone does to do a good deed."

"No, I got it!" Ban snapped his fingers. "What's the opposite of killing and its not a good deed? Showing love," he said when everyone looked confused. "I bet Akabane has to fall in love!"

I snapped angrily, _who would fall in love with an animal? Say something that makes sense bonehead!_

Shino relied what I said. "And I think Ban's idea makes more sense but at the same time, Akabane _is_ in an animal form. Who would love that?"

"I sure do!" Ginji dove on me in a hug. "I love you so much cutesty little Dr. Jackal! Love, love, love!" He squeezed me tight and then suddenly he fell over.

POOF!

I was me again, sitting naked on Ginji's chest.

He stared up at me then hollered and covered his eyes. "I don't love you! I don't love you! Get off me! HELP!"


End file.
